Texts from Kingdom Hearts

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     Welcome to Texts from Kingdom Hearts! A loving parody of the Texts from Last Night website. Check out the "About TFKH" page for more information and feel free to ask questions if you're still confused. Ask and Submit are always on!
     Also, PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE THE IMAGE DESCRIPTIONS WHEN YOU REBLOG. I put them there so that people who need to use screen readers for whatever reason can enjoy the texts too, so please be courteous when you reblog!


(970): I’m sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.

(970): I’m sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.

(Source: electriclies)

(607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.

(607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.


(301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believing my balls are bigger than yours.

(301): Having a vagina does not stop me from believing my balls are bigger than yours.

(Source: electriclies)


(407): I think I have a pornographic memory.(954): Don’t you mean photographic?(407): No.

(407): I think I have a pornographic memory.
(954): Don’t you mean photographic?
(407): No.


(847): Reminder- he’s a douche bag. A big one.

(847): Reminder- he’s a douche bag. A big one.


(214): Please don’t drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.

(214): Please don’t drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.


(313): At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?

(313): At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?


(706): We can talk tomorrow when we’re both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.(1-706): Where’s it at?(706): In your pants.

(706): We can talk tomorrow when we’re both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
(1-706): Where’s it at?
(706): In your pants.


(203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

(203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at