(607): I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
(818): Do I give off a “I have a sex tape” vibe???
(860): I’m not a mortal combat character
(410): but my vagina is
(530): Maybe I’m a robot.
(831): You can’t be that drunk already.
(603): As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
(262): But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
(863): Just watered mom’s plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I’m such a good daughter.
(407): You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
